We are in full holiday swing – the holiday parties are beginning to max out our schedules! And with that, we know, comes a lot of “catching up” with family, which can cause a whole array of issues for us in our binge eating disorders if we aren’t prepped and polished with some handy-dandy skills.
Ah, family – the ones who made our buttons, so they can push them with the slightest of ease. The ones that can send us from easy peasy level zero to full speed ahead in seconds flat. One minute you’re harmlessly hugging your sister saying and hi to Aunt Rhoda, the next, you’re picking at the Hanukah gelt, sugar cookies, or unwrapping a chocolate covered bell. #uhoh #nobueno
So, how do we stay solid in our truth and true to our goals with this fabulous love-slash-very-challenging relationship with our families over the holidays? That Buddies, as we say at Beacon, is a problem to be solved.
Short Answer: You. Do. You. Boo.
Aka: Stay in your lane, put your oxygen mask on first, MYOB. You doing you (before all else) allows for you to be the wisest, strongest, highest-and-best, most inoculated version of yourself at arguably the most challenging time of year for those of us struggling with binge eating disorders. It is the name of the game.
Making people comfortable, explaining yourself, people pleasing, covering for someone – you know the drill – allows a big-time opening for your goals and objectives to fall by the wayside. And it doesn’t make you all that helpful or loving to others, it mostly makes you resentful. And we ain’t got time for that.
You, Buddy, need to be the highest priority this holiday season.
You do you, Boo. At least give it a try. Make a YDYB plan – filled with arrival and departure times that suit your needs, with mealtimes and snacks that benefit your highest and best self, with answers to awkward and uncomfortable questions that honor your limits and keep you ringing the holidays with integrity, and with skills – including this awesome meditation practice – that can help keep you even keeled and shining bright.
Keep checking-in and challenging those thoughts that say things have to be any one way, and beware of the people-pleasing-non-self-