According to CBT- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, if you want to feel different you must think different. All of those shaming language thoughts result in shaming feelings.
This week, one of our clients came to me feeling sad and dejected. Well, her word was DISAPPOINTED. In herself. And she wanted to know what to do when this feeling comes to town.
Ugh, such a good question– as I sort of sank in my chair – it’s such a bummer to feel that way!
She went on to explain that she often feels disappointed in herself when she slips off meal plan, and, to add insult to injury, those feelings often lead her even further off track.
Feeling disappointed in yourself. What a great problem for us to solve using CBT!
Some savvy suggestions:
- Recognize the feeling and BE GENTLE. None of us ever got better by beating the crap out of ourselves. Am I right?
- Validate yourself! It’s okay to have feelings. They are important and necessary. And it’s a GOOD THING that you aren’t thrilled with making a misstep. It means that your recovery matters to you!
- Watch out for the evil P word: perfectionism. Even though we can strive for perfection, not understanding that sh*t happens will lead you to a very miserable life. If nothing is ever good enough, you are on your way to a life of misery. #nothankyou.
- Become a detective of your lapse. How can you work to not make this mistake happen? What got in the way of your success with this slip? Do you need some support? Do you need to make an action plan
- Slips happen. And the more that we react to them, the more we reinforce them. Name it, claim it, dump it, make an action plan and move on. You are more than your slips; I promise you that.
I’m reminded of a quote by Mohammed Ali,”Ain’t how tall you stand or how long you stand up. It’s what you do when you get knocked on your ass.” Preach!