Every Sunday, Molly buzzes about the questions/concerns/thoughts/experiences happening at Beacon. We are now sharing her weekly wisdom right her with you! Here’s a blog on judgment thoughts:
Happy Sunday! Here’s the Beacon Buzz:
I’ve been hearing a whole lot about judgment thoughts and food this week. Clients are struggling with having judgments about their meal plans. And, even more prevalent – clients are having judgments about how others eat! And it’s a big old Goldilocks issue – too little, too particular, why is everyone gluten free?!! Sound familiar?
All of these judgment thoughts can thwart our efforts with long-term sustainable success and can really interfere with a peaceful summer weekend.
Lots of judgments can feel like you have a judge and jury worse than the Fashion Police in your head. Here are some tips for when the judgments are being too loud, too proud, and taking you off of your game:
- First of all, recognize that you are judging. As my favorite Buddhist psychologist, Tara Brach, says, “when you can name something it can’t control you.” Naming it gives you some distance and helps the judgment to deflate even a little bit. And every little bit counts.
- Also, note that these judgment thoughts are NOT your wise mind and best self, that’s for sure. The tricky part of these judgments is that they are being played in the very same voice as your wise mind – so, as I say, be a connoisseur of your thoughts. Sometimes we can’t control what we think, but with some precision, and with slowing things down even a teeeeeensy bit, we CAN control what we believe.
- If the judging feels super overwhelming, distract distract distract! And if you are having judgments about your food or the food choices of others, by all means, get away from the food or the people. You’ll be surprised what removing yourself from the exact thing that is triggering your judgment can do to your day. Try it. Eventually, the thoughts will calm down
As our beloved Marsha Linehan says, “You cannot change judging by judging judging.” If you could you would have already. Be gentle with yourself – as cheesy as it may sound, it’s true. If it was possible to find success by beating the crap out of yourself, you would be here chilling with me this Sunday, right?
So, sit tight, be kind, and remember you are doing awesome. And when you can’t, remember your Beacon Team is here for backup! And, we are always wanting to know what you’re struggling with, obsessed with and what you want us to be buzzing about, so please be in touch!